A Certain Kind of Light
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Told through the eyes of a nameless teenage boy, A Certain Kind of Light sees the narrator attempt to find some kind of cohesion in a life from which he feels increasingly disconnected. As his family, friendships, sexuality and even his taste in music and pornography begin to feel distant from him, his alienation expands. The things that once meant everything to him are stripped of an essence he begins to doubt they ever had. He fixates on a profile of a boy that he finds on the Internet, projecting illusory ideas upon a person that he has never met but feels a profound intimacy with. Feeling more and more lost, he attempts to work out the connection between a disparate set of coincidences, objects and events: a dead, mangled bird, the funeral of his best friend s father, a horrific experience with LSD, obsessive sexual fantasies and the disintegrating suburban life in which he was raised. Intensely emotional and disorientating, A Certain Kind of Light focuses on the intricacies of confusion.
presenter is asking the savants questions. He's testing them, asking them about their favourite TV programme, some long running quiz show. The savants are getting every answer right. They answer so fast it's almost like they've learnt all the questions beforehand, which I guess they have, but over twenty years or something. "When was the first episode of the show aired?" ':July 28th 1986." They both answer at the same time, I think. Their voices sound really nasal and shaky. "Haha, wow." The
plan. "No. I can't sleep." That makes two of us then. "What are you doing?" "Nothing.Just sitting here." "Me too." "What's wrong?" Luke's perceptive or I'm obvious. "My dad's drunk again but I want to go downstairs." 10 ':Just go." "I can't. He's drunk." "Then don't." ''Are you ok?" There I go again. "No." ·~re you drunk?" "No. A little. Not like your dad or anything." I think that was a laugh at the end of the line. If it was then it wasn't meant to be mean. And if it was meant to be then it
to myself. I get on my knees and put my face on the bed. My body follows. I get this rush and want it to last. My heart feels electronic, like the beat of some terrible trance music. It's the repetition that gets me though. It starts sounding like something else when it's lined up next to a million identical things. I think I hear Alex fiddling around with something elaborate in the next room. I think I fall over again. The water from the street soaks into my jeans, so that they feel heavy. It's
they come together. I'm only just starting to notice that emotions do what people say they do, which means that I think I must have misunderstood something and ... someone says something and I can't tell whether it's a joke or not, so I don't laugh just in case it isn't and I try to do this smile that says if it is a joke then I get it and if it isn't a joke then I understand that it isn't. I keep noticing that I'm hard but it seems more engulfing than ... Emma's down on all fours and Luke and
fixed pose pixels about youth I feel scared of how perfect he looks and I know he hasn't got a clue so I've seen you a couple of times and I want to say that I found you by accident but bullshit because I tried really hard to find you I want to think that you might need me because you're lonely and I'm talking like a mirror with a big crack down the middle of it, or like the CD case, I like how you don't seem corrupt like fashion or what people do in each other's arms this is just a rough