A Marriage Made in Heaven, or Too Tired for an Affair

A Marriage Made in Heaven, or Too Tired for an Affair

Language: English

Pages: 1

ISBN: 1470824396

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

A Marriage Made in Heaven, or Too Tired for an Affair

Language: English

Pages: 1

ISBN: 1470824396

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


[Read by C. M. Hebert]

''I now pronounce you husband and wife.'' There are few phrases as sobering, with the possible exception of ''This country is at war.'' -- In A Marriage Made in Heaven, or Too Tired for an Affair,Erma Bombeck puts marriage into loving and laughing perspective.

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of resumption of normal activity. Normal activity does not include hiking thermostat up." It was signed "Mr. Science." These examples, of course, are for professionals. Neophytes would do well to start off with simple disagreements. For example, your husband hates broccoli. He throws up at the sight of it. If you sneak broccoli into the house, he knows it. He has instructed you never to cook it. You go to a dinner party where a hostess in a tight cashmere sweater puts broccoli in front of him

parents. They were nice people, but I was totally intimidated by them. His mother stayed at home and wore hose all day; mine worked in a factory and wore slacks. Their house had a dining room and a china closet. My family ate in the kitchen where you could sit at the table and turn off the stove and open the refrigerator without moving. They were a good twenty years older than my parents. As a concession to me, we timed our visits with the Milton Berle Show. (They also owned a television set!)

the word 'squirrel' have any meaning for you?" he asked. You'll never know how much," I said dryly. "It's a squirrel feeder," he said excitedly. A squirrel feeder. The Duke of Windsor on his anniversary flew from abroad to present the Duchess with 38 flavors of her favorite ice cream. Composer Adolph Green and his actress-wife Phyllis Newman received an arrangement of a love song, "Just In Time," as a gift from Leonard Bernstein. My dentist rented the billboard next to McDonald's that

demeaning for an account executive who paid to have the house painted? Should a woman play down her promotion and raise to keep her husband's self-esteem intact? Should a husband brag about his wife's successes or would he sound condescending? Who disciplines the children? Is it still "Wait till your father gets home" or is it now "Wait till your mother gets home"? For twelve years I had been drinking around writing a syndicated column for a couple of hundred newspapers. I had published three

plugged in his electric cocktail stirrer, I glanced around Sandy's kitchen... which she called a food center. There was a computerized bread baker, thermometer spoon, trash compactor, electric knife sharpener, salad spinner and salad shooter. Sandy and Ben had embraced the 80's and all of its technology. Bill and I just hung back like it was a blind date. The only concession we had made to automation was a smoke alarm. It told me when our dinner was ready. No one came right out and said so, but

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