Bicycling Home, My Journey to Find God
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Desperate to be free of a terrifying food addiction and driven by a terrible longing to find God, whomever and whatever that meant, Virginia began a ten-year journey that covered more than 10,000 miles by bicycle and countless inner miles of self-discovery and transformation. Her search takes her from a well-ordered, happy married life into divorce, chaos, confusion and despair--and ultimately to the unexpected and profound answer to her quest. This story follows a modern-day seeker as she bicycles her way alone on back roads and in long distance races--all the way home, where she finds herself as she finds the God she is seeking.
hoped for it to. I was still married when I met Paul three years ago, before this bicycle adventure had even occurred to me. Paul was one of the host of vendors, builders, contractors and consultants who were preparing Mudd’s for its Grand Opening. I was mightily attracted to him, but I’d never had an affair during the thirteen years of my marriage. It had crossed my mind only once, and I’d resisted because I didn’t want to break my commitment to my marriage. My husband and I were best friends
and effortlessly compatible in many areas of our lives. We had been shaped and woven together over the years, especially during the turbulent, exciting, hopeful and transformative years of the Hippies and Flower Children, the Beatles, the Vietnam War, the Kennedy/King assassinations. We had cultivated together a steady relationship based on shared adventures, projects, friends, travel, and work experiences. We had managed to get through some difficult personal struggles intact. But I had not
in our ways of communicating and working out our differences. Because his deep caring, kindness and support of me was so nurturing, I struggled to overlook what wasn’t working for me in our relationship. But during the course of my marriage, I had gotten used to talking my way through difficulties. Sometimes that included expressing strong emotions. That had worked for my husband and me, and over time communication had become an effortless game of evenly matched tennis. Sometimes the games were
as day-to-day partners. It was heartbreaking for me to admit that free-flowing communication was such a basic need for me in close relationship that, without it, I would actually choose to end my connection with this man I adored. One evening I knew I had to finally face this grim reality with him. It could wait no longer. I decided to bring it up as we sat together at dinner. I could hardly eat. This was the moment I had been dreading. “Paul, “ I began, “I don’t know how I can say this. I love
value. The worst part of the darkness was that I had initiated my own fall. No, the worst part was that Paul had been my link to God, and because the human relationship with him hadn’t worked out, it felt like I’d given up the divine relationship he opened me to. Paul revealed God to me. When he was in my life, I could feel God. I could see God. By myself I didn’t have that. Paul was the link in a chain that connected me to God. Without his presence the chain was broken. Without God I had