Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story
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Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.
Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never thought possible.
the bell. No one knew where she was. It must be the front desk. After four rings she picked up. Before she could say hello, a gravelly calm male voice said, “By the way, you’re not immortal. You can still be killed.” There was a click and Jody hung up the phone. He said, be killed, not you can still die. Be killed. She grabbed her bag and ran out into the night. CHAPTER 6 THE ANIMALS The daytime people called them the Animals. The store manager had come into work one morning to find
me see your palm again.” Tommy surrendered his palm reluctantly. “Oh, good news at last,” Madame Natasha said. “You will find an apartment.” “Good,” Tommy said, pulling his hand back again. “I’ve got to go.” “Don’t you want to know about the rats?” “No.” Tommy turned and headed toward the door. As he reached it he turned and said, “I’m not fucked.” The Sartre reader looked up from his book and said, “We all are. We all are.” CHAPTER 13 TO-DO LIST OF THEFASHIONABLY DOOMED When you
as the papers are concerned, the victims were robbed. No connection.” Rivera nodded. “I need a smoke. Let’s go talk to those guys that got hit a the Laundromat a couple of weeks ago. Maybe there’s a connection.” Cavuto pushed himself out of the chair and grabbed his hat off the desk. “Whoever voted for nonsmoking in the station house should be pistol-whipped.” “Didn’t the President sponsor that bill?” “All the more reason. The pussy.” Tommy lay looking at the ceiling, trying to catch his
open so Peary could hear him better. “I have to look to the future, you know. When I’m a famous writer I’m going to have to go on book tours. She can’t go with me. What can I say, ‘No, I’m sorry, but I can’t go. If I go away my wife will starve to death.’” He paced around the turtles, who were struggling in their crates. One of them raised his spiny head and considered Tommy. “I know how you guys feel. Just waiting for someone to eat you. You think I don’t know how that feels?” When he
dress. “Are you sure you don’t want to try the five, dear?” Jody said, “No, this one is fine. I’ll need some sheer black nylons to go with it.” The saleswoman fought down a grimace and managed a professional smile. “And do you have shoes to match?” “Suggestions?” Jody asked, not looking away from her reflection. She thought, I wouldn’t have been caught dead in something like this a few months ago. Oh hell, I’m caught dead in everything now. Jody laughed at the thought and the saleswoman took