Dance of the Reptiles: Rampaging Tourists, Marauding Pythons, Larcenous Legislators, Crazed Celebrities, and Tar-Balled Beaches: Selected Columns
Carl Hiaasen, Diane Stevenson
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
If you think the wildest, wackiest stories that Carl Hiaasen can tell have all made it into his hilarious, bestselling novels, think again. Dance of the Reptiles collects the best of Hiaasen's Miami Herald columns, which lay bare the stories—large and small—that demonstrate anew that truth is far stranger than fiction.
Hiaasen offers his commentary—indignant, disbelieving, sometimes righteously angry, and frequently hilarious—on burning issues like animal welfare, polluted rivers, and the broken criminal justice system as well as the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, Bernie Madoff's trial, and the shenanigans of the recent presidential elections. Whether or not you have read Carl Hiaasen before, you are in for a wild ride.
until the district spends another $5.6 million raising the elevation with dirt fill. In other words, these idiots paid top dollar for a swamp. This seems incomprehensible unless you realize that, until recently, Miami-Dade school officials routinely purchased property without physically inspecting it. Astounding but true. The county is fond of blaming classroom overcrowding on the Legislature’s stinginess. But judging by their extravagant conduct in dubious land deals, local school officials
Resistance is not futile. We’ve worked hard to keep ourselves so far behind in education, and we must stay the course. October 10, 2010 Running Scared over Amendment 4 Major homebuilders are uncorking a bombastic media blitz to scare Floridians away from voting yes to Amendment 4. The same people who helped ignite the housing crash and mortgage meltdown are absolutely terrified of giving citizens actual control over growth in their own communities. The so-called Hometown Democracy Amendment
Hialeah who chairs the Health Regulation Committee. Remember this character’s name, in case he ever dreams of running for statewide office. Garcia’s district includes more than 100 assisted-living facilities, including some of the worst and most heavily fined in Miami-Dade. Thanks to Garcia and others, it’s not easy for one of these joints to get in trouble, no matter what horrors are taking place inside. Statewide, more than 70 ALF residents are known to have perished from gangrene,
In the past, undocumented aliens from war-torn Liberia, Sudan, and Somalia have been given temporary protected status. After Hurricane Mitch devastated Central America in 1998, TPS was granted to thousands of undocumented Hondurans and Nicaraguans here. It was offered again to Salvadorans fighting deportation after a series of killer earthquakes racked their homeland in 2001. TPS isn’t an amnesty; it’s an 18-month window of safe haven, which is then reviewed periodically. Those immigrants
Labor Day weekend off North Carolina and Virginia, with tragic outcomes. The deaths of two swimmers should have put our minor, everyday shark encounters into perspective, but we weren’t about to let that happen. Instead the incidents were treated as the grisly culmination of a season-long siege. NBC opened its nightly news touting “The Summer of the Shark,” a phrase poached from an earlier cover of Time magazine. The implicit message: Watch out, America—they’re not just nibbling anymore!