I'm OK--You're OK
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Transactional Analysis delineates three observable ego-states (Parent, Adult, and Child) as the basis for the content and quality of interpersonal communication. "Happy childhood" notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the Not ok feelings of a defenseless child, dependent on ok others (parents) for stroking and caring. At some stage early in our lives we adopt a "position" about ourselves and others that determines how we feel about everything we do. And for a huge portion of the population, that position is "I'm Not OK - You're OK." This negative "life position," shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational Adult capabilities, leaving us vulnerable to inappropriate emotional reactions of our Child and uncritically learned behavior programmed into our Parent. By exploring the structure of our personalities and understanding old decisions, Harris believes we can find the freedom to change our lives.
war after war at fantastic cost, is due for examination. How many wars will we have to fight? Is there an end in sight? Is world communism possible? Are all communists godless? What is a communist? Has he changed in the past fifty years? Are all communists alike? There are 3 billion persons in the world. We know very little of these persons as individuals. We scarcely think of them as individuals. For instance, do we see a country like India only as a vast, nondescript blur of too-many-people
precision tool of treatment because, in a language anyone can understand, it identifies things that really are, the reality of experiences that really happened in the lives of people who really existed. Also the method, which is particularly suited to the treatment of people in groups, points to an answer to the great disparity between the need for treatment and the trained people available to do the work. During the past twenty-five years, beginning with particular intensity in the years
evidence once told me space travel was only fantasy; now I know it is reality.) Figure 6. The updating function of the Adult through reality testing Another of the Adult’s functions is probability estimating. This function is slow in developing in the small child and, apparently, for most of us, has a hard time catching up throughout life. The little person is constantly confronted with unpleasant alternatives (either you eat your spinach or you go without ice cream), offering little incentive
illusory. The problem can perhaps best be stated in terms of comparative difficulties: it is difficult to work out the differences and make compromises, but it also is difficult to proceed with the alternative, the dissolution of the marriage. One cannot proceed on the basis of rigid absolutes, such as ‘divorce is always wrong’, because there are other principles involved which also apply. Insisting that a woman continue to live with a cruel and abusive husband and never find happiness with
of the psychedelic experience, that ‘out there’ they are discovering a common essence that ties all men together. Though their vehicle of transcendence may be controversial, we must take into account this longing for relatedness, the capacity for the feeling of oneness, the evolution of the human mind to the point where it comprehends and feels and accepts that human beings, because they are related to one another, have claims on one another. The longing for relatedness is a fact, even though