It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition
Roger R. Hock
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Those who have never experienced an abusive or violent relationship often believe that upon finding a way out, victims’ difficulties are solved: their life is good, they are safe, and recovery will be swift. However, survivors know that leaving is not the end of the nightmare -- it is the beginning of an often difficult and challenging journey toward healing and happiness. It’s My Life Now offers readers the practical guidance, emotional reassurance, and psychological awareness that survivors of relationship abuse and domestic violence need to heal and reclaim their lives after leaving their abusers.
Since its publication in 2000, It's My Life Now has been highly successful as a working manual for survivors who are starting their lives over after an abusive relationship. This valuable book combines direction on practical and emotional issues with worksheets and self-exploration exercises. Now, in the second edition, Dugan and Hock include updated information and resources while encompassing a wider range of individuals and the relationships in which abuse and violence occur. The new edition also provides a new emphasis on safety assessment, which has increasingly been shown to be a critical factor in recovery. In addition, this new edition includes current resources and information about organizations for victims along with revised and enhanced strategies to help survivors move forward on the path of recovery.
took away your ability to trust potential partners. He stole all of this from you and you have every right to mourn such a loss. If your partner sexually assaulted you, your ability to feel sexual in a positive, loving way was probably taken away, too. It may be a long time before you begin to experience and feel comfortable with the sexual side of yourself again. Even when those feelings of sensuality and sexuality do return, you may experience great difficulty being sexual with your next
you may be wondering when, if ever, you will have your family. Your experience of abuse may have altered your thoughts about having children at all in the future. Maybe you wisely chose not to bring children into such an abusive atmosphere, but now you wonder if you will ever feel comfortable enough in a relationship to have a family in the future. This may be another source of grief for you. If you had children with your ex-partner or you had children from an earlier relationship, you probably
PTSD. This doesn’t mean that you are crazy or weak. It means you are having a normal reaction to a very abnormal ordeal in your life. When you stop to think about it, unfortunately many parallels exist between war and domestic violence. As with other emotions discussed in this chapter, PTSD symptoms will take time to subside. If you find that these symptoms are seriously interfering with your daily life, you may need to work with a counselor to overcome them. Other Intense Emotions The specific
programs, Medicaid benefits, Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) benefits, Supplemental Security Income (SSI) benefits, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), and the new federal welfare program for families with children. You may qualify for one or more of these programs. Most state and local governments offer additional programs as well. It can sometimes be difficult to find these programs, to determine the ones for which you may qualify, and to fill out and submit the
abuse, cognitive dissonance, and masking techniques, often combine to create a traumatic bond with an abuser. Once this bond is established it becomes terribly difficult to break free of the relationship. The Stockholm Syndrome The Stockholm syndrome is another theory about how a person who is being victimized may develop an attachment to an aggressor. This theory grew out of a case in Sweden in 1973 in which bank robbers had held a woman and three others hostage for six days. When they were