Naw Much of a Talker

Naw Much of a Talker

Pedro Lenz

Language: English

Pages: 240

ISBN: 1908754222

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Naw Much of a Talker

Pedro Lenz

Language: English

Pages: 240

ISBN: 1908754222

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


An award-winning comic novel about truth, lies, and storytelling, with an unforgettably unreliable narrator, translated from its innovative Swiss vernacular back into the Glaswegian that was its original inspiration

Known only as "the goalie," the novel's narrator is always taking the blame. He's just been released from jail, having kept quiet during a drug bust at his local pub. The goalie is a sucker for a good story, he lives and breathes them, is forever telling stories to himself and anyone who'll listen. He returns to his hometown broke, falling in love with Regi, a barmaid. On a trip together to Spain, to hook up with his shady friends, Regi realizes that this obsession with storytelling has its downsides, the goalie all too ready to believe the yarns his so-called friends spin. This novel is a charming, hilarious tour through the goalie's anecdotes. Storytelling is his way of avoiding problems and conflict, his crowning achievement and tragic flaw. Regi concludes that it isn't a woman the goalie needs, but an audience. Pedro Lenz harnesses his considerable powers as a performer and oral storyteller in this powerful and unforgettable celebration of the rhythms and musicality of the spoken word.

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Regula kid become an item mibbe? Regula, love, ah gave it, kin ah ask ye a wee favour? Kid ye slip me a fifty tae Monday? Whit it is is: ahm owed a load ae money, jist hivnae actually got it actually yet. A wee cash-flow problem. Ye ken hoo it is – She looks at me like that. Then goes like that: so ah hidnae changed at aw in the Joke, eh? Ye widnae think, tae listen tae me, ahd done nearly a year in there, ah hidnae changed a bit, still full o the same auld shite ah wis. Dont get yirsel worked

There’s nae rush. Tell me whit happened. She wis jist greetin by this stage, wisnae in a position tae say fuck-aw so ah said nuthin an’ aw, pit some music oan an’ jist waited jist. Eftir a while, she asks fur a fag an’ ah kin see she’s still shiverin an’ as ah look a bit closer, ah see her bottom lip’s swollen an’ she’s a rid patch unner her eye that’s gettin darker. Ah felt ma chist tightenin. Christ, ah dont believe it – he hit ye in the face? Ye need tae report him tae the polis. It’s

the two wimmen, by this time but ah only knew the landlord’s name, look, this is Alfredo, naw wait, Alberto. Was it Alfredo or Alberto? Then but, Regula said it wis awright, ahd awready introduced ivrywan, an’ that wis fine by me cos some folk take the hump when ye cannae mind their names. We did then go hame at some point eftir aw an’ we cooked an’ aw. That is: she did, mair like, cos ah – ah didnae see the need. It wis guid craic anyhow but, we rambled oan an’ oan. Naw aboot problems an’ the

flowin, nae shortage ae it, an’ he’d hid too much cognac or whitivver. Fuck me, he gi’es it, ma heid’s totally spinnin. Oan some kinda high, ah am. Ah dont feel like goin back tae Niederbipp thenight. Kin ah kip at yours, Goalie? Ahm like that: Nae bother. Ahm goin hame tae ma bed thenoo but. He but, he wantit tae sit oan fur a while. Kid he jist show up at mine later? So ah tellt him the hoose number an’ explained: second flair, left-haun door, door wid be open, an’ he kid crash oan the couch

signalled tae his wife an’ she poured me mair cognac. Wance ah got hame, ah phoned Regula. Ye sleepin awready? Naw, whit ur you daein? Callin you, Regi. Cos ahm missin ye. Let’s take oor time wi this, Goalie. Ahm naw as quick as you, wi things like this. Ahv jist split up fae Buddy. That’s okay, Regi. Take yir time. Take aw the time ye want. You’ve got time. Ah hivnae but. So ahm leavin. Whit? Where ye gaun, Goalie? Ah dont know yet. Abroad? Naw. Naw that faur, naw. Tae a city but. Is

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